the web again.... it has been quite a sometimes i never come to here and also my blog... my old n very first blog... i guess i have dump it there for quite sometime and when i really had soemthing only i will come... how nice... cuz it will always be available for me anytime anywhere... no matter wut happened... human are diff... they have feeling, they will get angry, they will get frustrated they'll leave n disappear anytime they wants... this is the different between biotic and anbiotic things...no longer has any feeling now and behave like an object... no more complaining, no more anger no more tears drop... back to the whole old me.... the 1 who wanetd to be strong. wanted to stay alone, need not depends on other... yup, im back after 4 years and 2.5 months... no doubt, behaving like a little soft women who always wanted to be spoilt is pretty nice and comfortable, but still need to come back to this realistic world and continue the war, the competition the rule of the game... i had once broke to rule, i chose to stay behind of u and let u fight the world for me and i jsut stay behind supporting sincerely.... but the rule state no1 should be get help... and now, yes myself, me alone will stay up and go for my own life... life without you but with myself... i broke the rule of the game n might chose the wrong warrior... by my thought by wut i see, i belive in myself for 4 years, i do chose the right 1... but because of this confident, make me wut i am now... a bit stupid, but i will now make that mistake anymore... disappointment is wut i can describe now, believing in wrong is wut i can feel now, heart-broken is wut i can hear now. give me sometimes to recover, i will be good... just a little more time... i will be me... *life is full of uncontant, unconfirm and unreal... believing in urself, and u will overcome it... no pain no gain... u din owe me, but i do owe myself.... 27/10/2008 2.00am wut a failure... talk so well... did u do it? no.. totally failure... y can a human with brain can be so stupid like me? not worth to stay as so called "human" worst than avthing in the world... even retarded ppl are more worthy to stay in this world than me... i have all the body organs well organized and functioned... i have all type of materials i wan... i have all types of education i wan... no worries on daily life... n this fucking lucky ppl says she dun feel happy at all cuz of a guy, jus a guy... isnt that she is really dumb? yup, she is really dumb. i hate myself so much. pls, get back to the old me, the confident, strong n never believe in others me... no more naive no more depending pls... i feeling vv bad right now, worst than avthing... what is so great about an telco engineer? what is so great of an so called future "LA BOSS/CEO?" what is so great about staying in a bukit jalil bungalow? what is so great of u, CHUA LUCERNE? i really dunno, y cant i jus leave u? loves... i love some1 who dun really love myself... how dumb? what is the use loving some1 who always made u cry n tire of u? what is the use u still hold him on? how long can i hold him? i think it will be more rational to let go rather than thinking of stupid ways of salvage him back... he dun belongs to me.. | 